ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
