IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
