Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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