You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
