All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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