look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think my moral compass just broke
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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