Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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