Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Houston, we have a squirter
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
