in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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