he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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