God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
