This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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