my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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