I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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