On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
