There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
