Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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