So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
