you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
