just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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