she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
