1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
home. puking in laundry basket.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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