Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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