Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
