craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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