I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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