You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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