But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Houston, we have a squirter
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
