Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
