My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
