Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
