hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
