I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
