so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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