you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
