we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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