I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
