Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
