She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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