ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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