Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
