my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
