it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
