hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
