Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
