True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
