They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
