69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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