talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
