hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
